And The Oscar, ahem, The Office Goes To…

We’re now in the seventh month of a presidency most Americans still can’t believe is real.  Watching the news and reading blogs has been such a negative experience for over half a year now, so I’d like to try to interject some levity.  I thought this might be a good time for this post as Potus is on a 17-day vacation.  And it’s not one of those lazy golf trips like Slacker Obama used to take.  No, Potus is just relocating his office…to a golf course…that he owns…which will generate taxpayer supported revenue for his coffers (<Potus’> Interests vs. America’s) for a couple of weeks while “the dump” on Pennsylvania Avenue has some work done.

As I shared in my earlier post, Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Pete, I believe it’s not too early for liberals to start planning the reclamation of the White House in 2020, and I introduced some of you to Pete Buttigieg.  There are also other possible contenders out there, like Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, New Jersey Senator Cory Booker (yes, another woman and another black man, respectively) and some others.  Liberal activist and film maker Michael Moore is floating (pushing?) the idea that Democrats should run a celebrity for the office, maintaining that a “beloved American” could garner the majority of votes in this entertainment obsessed country.  Mr. Moore  seems, however, more interested in just getting a Democrat back in the position than he does about finding someone who could govern.  Regardless, I wanted to use this space to explore the concept, so let’s examine some prospects:

Tom Hanks

Tom is one of the country’s most prolific actors and certainly beloved by many.  After all, he saved Private Ryan, got Apollo 13 home, performed a miracle on the Hudson and showed us all how life is similar to a Whitman’s Sampler.  My concern about a successful bid for the presidency, however, stems from his early work.  Many of my readers may remember that Hank’s earliest starring role came in 1980 in a television show entitled Bosom Buddies.  He played Buffy Wilson to Peter Scolari’s Hildegard Desmond; their female personas created by their male characters in order to live in an affordable, women-only hotel.  If the country isn’t ready for a female president, could they really be ready for a man who does drag?  It’s possible that I could be underestimating the power of a strong ticket, though.  What if Tom got Wilson to run as his Vice President?  Talk about beloved…and what a great listener.

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah is undoubtedly beloved…she even has a film by the same name.  She, like someone else we know, has a household name and a great deal of money (though she only got one of those from her father) who could surely fund her own campaign.  Oprah would most likely be the strongest “Education President” we’ve seen, given her devotion to her Leadership Academy.  And instead of “a chicken in every pot” her slogan could be “you get a car and you get a car…”.  The most obvious drawbacks, of course, are her gender and her race.  I remember a remark that the venerable Ann Richards made regarding her loss for re-election as Texas Governor in 1994.  She said that her opponent, newcomer George W. Bush (via Karl Rove) had successfully convinced Texas voters that she was going to send the gays to get their guns.  While I’m not exactly sure how the opposition to this strong black women would frame the national campaign, I’m confident it would have many “conservative” men clutching their Birth of a Nation DVDs as well as their testicles.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

While “The Rock” could have an immediate and positive impact on military readiness (just look at those guns), one wonders if that eyebrow would need to be commandeered and subjected to the nuclear codes like other weapons of mass destruction.  There is also the problem of his heritage.  Though he claims to have been born in Hayward, California, his mother’s parents were Samoan (and her mother wasn’t even from American Samoa), so I can already see those bright, articulate, Republican birthers trying to correctly spell “damn Polynesia” on their Facebook pages.

I’m sure there are many other suitable contestants from the “Entertainment Tonight” catalogue, and I’m not going to argue with Michael Moore about the ultimate electability of such a candidate, but I think our next hopeful needs to not only be electable, but also able to lead.  Mr. Moore’s assumption may be that just having a left-leaning actor in the head office would be sufficient because we could surround them with politically savvy folk to “script and direct” their work, but what happens if the puppet goes rogue?  Heaven knows that’s never happened before.